Stuff I think about

This is not reaching for the stars. More like a rummage around common themes and observations. Possibly emotional reactions to difficult events. Sometimes I don’t even know what poetry is. I often find it boring. Many times I haven’t finished reading a poem. I don’t have the patience to try and understand it or lack the passion to figure it out. And sometimes I don’t like the way things are expressed.


So the gist is, never feel bad when you don’t finish reading a poem. Or if you don’t even want to start it. It’s fine. Yawn.



The sun is shining,

there’s a gentle breeze,


I’m gonna do some gardening.


I hate gardening!

But not today!


Why hate it?

It’s so much work.


I have to get all the stuff out.

Then I have to plug the lawnmower in.


For this I have to find three extensions

and lead them out of the kitchen window.


What a hassle!


And my secateurs are blunt!

And my rake is missing.


Wait! I never had a rake.

I just think, every single time,


that I need to get a rake.

But I never get one.


I don’t really

deal with my garden much.


But I like to look at it

from my kitchen window.


Not today!

Today it’s all


plug in and mow and

prune and make wonderful.



© Vroni Holzmann



Life is a deadline

What haven’t you done yet?

Quick, do it now.


And then there sits a man

with all the time in the world.

He just sits there.


But you need to go and

shop and cook and clean

and work and go to work


and work from home.

And prepare for work

and then this job isn’t good enough.


Now you have a job interview

and then you are scared, did I get it?

Yes! You got the job.


Now you get more money.

And you have to work

and to clean and to shop.


You don’t cook anymore

you get a ready meal.



And you rush past this man,

he just sits there.

Can he do that?


Just sit there?

It reminds you of a life

when rushing around


was not filling up

a hundred percent

of your time.


He sits there

and sometimes he looks grumpy

and other times he smiles.


Can you have good and bad days

when you just sit there?

Days you like and days you hate?


Shouldn’t that be about

what you have achieved

that day?


What does he achieve?

Is he a symbol?

A reminder for the rest of the world?


Why does he just sit there?

Does it mean that I could just sit there?

But what about my work?


I am so important! Yes, I am.

I lead a team.

I tell them what to do.


Without me, with me just

sitting on a bench,

what would my team do?


They can’t all just

sit on a bench.

There wouldn’t be enough benches.

© Vroni Holzmann

Super Hero


The time has come.

You are the greatest!


You always knew this,

deep in your heart.


But now you can prove

once and for all


how important and clever

you really are.


Today I will make you

a super hero.


You can actually

save lives! Hurray!!!


An evil virus is threatening

the whole world!


But you will keep them all



You will make sure

not to spread it


and you will,

for once in your life,


be a real super hero!

Yes!!! You did it!


To save a life

you adhere to the rules


that you know will prevent

the spread of the enemy!


You ignore the authorities

and make sure the disease


doesn’t scatter itself around

on your watch!


Do what all the super heroes do

in this kind of situation.


Stay home.

Wash hands.


Wear masks (for real,

like a super hero!).


Now you have saved a granny

from certain death!!


You have proven that

the super powers


you knew you had

(but it was a secret)


could turn you into

Social-Distance Super Hero!


Yes, there may be some other heroes, too.

Okay, roughly several million,


but you have still saved that granny!

No-one can take that away from you.


And I will give you a medal

for your bravery.


Months of staying in

and wearing masks to shops


and not even meeting friends

is not for the fainthearted.


Your courage in defending

the vulnerable from


the spread of the disease

deserves the Medal


of Services to Society!

And a big thank you


from the whole world.

You did great!


I am so proud of you.

So proud.

© Vroni Holzmann

European Radio


I have introduced

German radio


to my kitchen.

Now my daughter feels


like she’s on



I bought this little

internet radio


and set up

two Bavarian stations.


The same stations

that we listen to


when we’re in Germany

visiting Nana.


There’s no more visiting Nana

since a little virus


has made a big show

of terrorising people.


It really is a very small thing,

a tiny terrorist.


It kills people

and maims them.


What an arsehole.


Anyways, the radio.

It plays the songs


they consider hip

right now over there.


A lot of eighties stuff

and some Ed Sheeran and Adele.


They are so popular!

But I don’t really dig


their yodelling.


However, I do love

New German Wave.


They tell us the news

on the hour.


And after the news

the weather forecast.


It is generally more accurate

than the Scottish one.


But sadly for the wrong country.


I sometimes forget about this

and look out of the window puzzled.


Then I remember; thunderstorms in Bavaria

and sunshine in Scotland.


My little radio

brings Europe


so close.

My daughter feels


like it’s a holiday

when she hears their jingles.


Well-known and familiar sounds

from our travels


to see Nana.

Who is now so far away.


With a tiny virus

between us.

© Vroni Holzmann



Why do people pray?

I think they pray

to make themselves small


in a good way.


They turn themselves

into children

looking for guidance.


And they practise

to be humble

every day.


Praying is a


on our place


in life.


The aim is

to make yourself

less important


and listen

to a higher



We ask that power

to take over

and a huge




is lifted from

our shoulders.


It is a shame

that I can’t pray.

It just never worked


for me.


I am not

humble enough.


And also,

I can’t believe,

even for five minutes,


that there is a

higher power

out there.


For me,

it’s just little me,

and wagon loads of people


in this world.


But no gods

or spirits

to ask for advice


and pray to.


I am a little


about that.


But it’s fine.

© Vroni Holzmann

The Highest Statue


A friend from Grenada

once said to me


as we were driving by

St Andrew Square in Edinburgh.


Did you know, she said,

what this man up there did,


up high above,

can you see him?


I said, well, he’s really far away,

he’s so high above,


how high is this statue?

Was he a god?


She continued, he was

a very bad man,


he fought for slavery

for a very long time.


I said, for slavery, not against?

She explained:


He single-handedly

inserted a clause


to delay the abolition

of slavery.


He managed to

suppress their fight


for another ten years!


I thought, wow, ten years,

that’s a long time


for slavery

to needlessly continue.


How sad, I thought.

This statue should


come down,

is what I thought


that day.

And every day since.


But now, at last,

the heads of statues


 begin to roll.

The statues being


smashed and toppled.

The bad men


have their day

in the high court of



and are found guilty


of terrible assaults

on human rights.


But today I also

found out to my




that the slaves

waiting for their freedom


were so many.

Over sixty thousand souls


were not freed

for another decade.


And the statue

this damn statue


sits so high,

so very high!


Forty two meters

is how high this man


got to sit

above all people.


Take him down

and see him for


who he really was.

He was a bad man


his crimes judged

late, too late.


But better now than never

to get rid of the stench


of good old-fashioned

racist horrors.

© Vroni Holzmann

Shitty Britain


In Great Britain

which is now called


Shitty Britain

we have entered


the most dangerous phase.

Infections are rising


yet a murderous government

is easing restrictions.


My advice: stay home.


Go out only when you have to.

Don’t meet anyone,


wear a mask

and keep a distance.


The government is choosing

not to save lives.


But you and me

can really make a difference


by following the

guidance of other countries


who are ahead of us

in the timeline.


A no-brains government

just means you have to


look at the numbers and

use your own brain.


Good luck!

© Vroni Holzmann

* Note by the editor: the British government has decided to ease pandemic restrictions without the introduction of mandatory masks whilst death rates are at 173 Covid victims daily and infection rates are rising, (June 20 2020)

Source: Covid 19 Info Live

A Criminal Government


What is up

with the

British press?


Our government

are a bunch of



We all

know that

by now.


By not listening to the

scientific advice

provenly given to them


and not taking

the pandemic measures

to keep citizens safe


at the




they are


for the death


of many thousands

of our valued

fellow citizens.


Why are they

still governing?

Why is the press


not challenging them?

And why are they able

to distract from


these murderous facts?

Why is this

not front page news


until they are

made to



Prime Minister,

we can see the news

about other countries

and their successes

in containing the virus.

They usually wear masks.


They made clear rules

and supplied sufficient protective equipment

to their doctors and nurses.


You and your government

have killed your own people

on this island.


Take your

terrible politics

and go home.


The position

will go to

a responsible


and less murderous


with the people’s interests


at heart

regardless of

their gain.


You work for

the money

not for


the people.

The people are now

dead or in despair.


Talking about slavery crimes?

A modern day genocide

is unfolding


right here!

But don’t think

no-one noticed


your crime.

I will judge you



and history

will judge you


© Vroni Holzmann

* Note by the editor: this poem is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real persons, living

or dead, is purely coincidental. So don’t sue me for calling them murderers : (

Floating on the Floor


What is it

with all that

yoga wisdom?


Corpse pose?


That’s not nice.


So I’ve renamed it.

It now has

a lovely name.


Floating on

the floor.

Yes, that’s nice.


And so relaxing.


If you don’t

have time

for yoga


just do

one thing,

one little trick.


Lie down on the floor.

Close your eyes.

Imagine you are




Do it now.

You will feel

better than


you have felt all day.

Your worries will

just fade away.


Your consciousness

will submerge



under the floorboards

and your subconscious will

shine through the cracks.


You will feel

like it all doesn’t matter.

Just for that moment


you can feel

so amazing

and reflect


on nothing

at all.

© Vroni Holzmann

Trans Woman


I am what is now termed as

a white hetero cis woman.


So I have not much

to do with you.


I don’t often meet you.

When I do I am pleased


to see the wonderful progress

which has been made


transforming an unhappy gender

into another gender


where the skin seems to fit

and the heart feels healed.


But I can see a river of hate

flow towards you


and I am sorry

so sorry.


I cannot with my little brain

come up with a single reason


as to why some fellow humans

would feel so passionate about


destroying your femininity

and your livelyhood.


One thing I do know

is that they are not radical feminists

as they so proudly claim.

In fact they abuse the term feminist


and drag it down

to a hate speech level.


I would like to apologise to you

on behalf of these haters.


Please don’t listen to them.

We shall fight their abuse together.


My apology won’t give you back

the dignity they try to take from you


but the dignity is already yours

and you elevate


far, far above

those who do not


understand you.



Keep fighting.

And much love


from a feminist

who appreciates human rights


for all humans

and always.


© Vroni Holzmann

Toppling Statues


You are not sure if

statues of bad men

should be toppled?


Why do I say men?

What, no women?

There is one of your reasons!


The statues of bad men

should have come down

a long time ago.


They stand for,

I’ll just say this bad word,

the evil one, out loud.




And you can’t,

however hard you try,

make this a good word.


It has done bad deeds

for many centuries.

It is the essence


of racism.


The history books

never taught

British kids


just how bad

these deeds were,

full of genocides.


Topple the statues?

Topple the Royals!

Topple the Edinburgh Tattoo!


A yearly event

where the military

glorify the military and


the Empire!


Off with their heads!

Is what the bloody Queen would have shouted.

But I don’t even want murder.


Just a few statues

and a few embedded aristocracies


© Vroni Holzmann

Race is a Construct


I bring forward the case

in the high court of humanity.


The people are on trial

and the crime is racism.


It’s a criminal matter

as there seems certainly no


tiny bit of civil conduct

to be seen anywhere.


We begin.

Quiet in the audience!


First and only



The human

likes to judge.


The judgement

of the human


comes first and foremost

from the eyes.


Ears and nose

have committed no crime


and shall be excused

at this point.


The mind of the human

will get an impression


and form an opinion

within a split second.


This matter will be settled

very easily and without doubt.


I see a colour of skin

and my mind is made up


as to what kind of person

I have in front of me.




The truth is that

the colour of skin


actually tells me nothing,

and I repeat nothing,


about the person

I have just met.


Can you now please repeat

after me?


I know nothing,

and that means zero,


about the human

in front of me


depending on the

colour of their skin.


The person’s work uniform

can tell me more


about who they are

than their complexion.


But even this can be

so very deceiving


because in our minds

and in our eyes


when we see certain

work uniforms,


let’s say those

of the law enforcement,


we think they are here

to help us.


At least if the colour

 of our skin is white.


If the colour

of our skin is black


they’re suddenly here

to kill us?


How can this be?

It’s all about judgement.


The eyes have been

naughtily judging


what the mind

couldn’t know.


You are now

dismissed from this court.


Your homework for tonight

is to repeat a thousand times,


‘The colour of skin

tells me nothing about a person;


my eyes won’t judge

and my mind is open’.


Then keep repeating

‘my mind is open’


until you

fall asleep.


You now rest with

a good and clear


conscience because

race is a construct.


There is one race,

and one race only


which is referred to as

the human race.


The judge is now tired

Why have to explain this?


It’s so simple and logical.

Why has it been


so misconstrued?

It has to do with power.


Where there’s fear

there is power.


But please don’t fall for

those powerful people


as they screw

with your mind.


Now the day is over

and another day will begin.


This day will be better

and full of



© Vroni Holzmann

I still stay home


Tens of thousands have died.

Thousands are ill.

Hundreds are still dying.


I don’t want to sunbathe.

I don’t want a beer in the park.

And I don’t want to meet a group of friends


from another household.

I want to rest assured in the knowledge

that my government is sensible


and takes the measures to ensure

a second wave will be coped with

and avoided if possible.


I want to see my mum

and hold my grandchild,

but in a safe way.


So not yet,

not yet.

I want to rest assured that vulnerable,


fragile citizens with pre-existing conditions

are taken care of

in the best possible way.


I would like my government to listen

to the concerns of its people.

And I don’t want to come out


until its safe.

I don’t think it’s safe

to come out yet.


So I still stay home.

© Vroni Holzmann

Corona Crisis


These are the words

that have been



into everyone’s



during the weeks

of the pandemic.


Social Isolation.


Stay at Home!


But this applies


to the lucky ones.


This crisis might

as well be called

“The Great Global Dying”.


So here is

what I don’t understand.


Why would anyone

be concerned about

how to spend this time?


Are we restricted?

We are alive, aren’t we?


A few months.

That’s all it is.


This illness is not a flu.

Stop thinking that.


It is a lethal virus.

It can shut down your organs,

one by one.

They can hook you up

to machines,


the kidneys,

the heart.


But there comes a limit.

There comes a time

when a mother, a father,


a husband, a wife,

just can’t be saved

any more.


Hang on, organs? Yes,

that’s if you

didn’t suffocate yet.


Your lungs drowning

in fluid.


You are coughing and coughing,

there is no light

at the end of this tunnel.


I wish every human


the globe


that they don’t

catch this

deadly virus.


So be content

to stay at home.

Stay there and

be happy.


You are

the lucky one.

© Vroni Holzmann

Little Wayside Flower

A gentle flower, frail and small
had thoughts on life itself and all.

It thought, oh just imagine if
I could just walk, what would I give.

It also thought, oh bloody hell
if I could swim, that would be swell.

And yes, the most amazing sight
would be if I had hands to write

so all the clever thoughts I made
would not just float away and fade.

This flower by the path was there
until a sheep that didn’t care

just ate it up, which sadly meant
its little soul away just went.

The world just never got to see
this little thing, it ceased to be.

But tiny as it was, and jaded
It knew it lived before it faded.

© Vroni Holzmann



I have moved silly poetry to the bottom. No-one gets to this bit anyways.









© Vroni Holzmann & Abhinav Mujumder


* Note by the editor: This is a mind edit poem. Adapted from a poem by Abhinav Mujumder, published on twitter on 17th of March 2020. Find the original here: Untitled by Abhinav Mujumder

What is a mind edit, I hear no-one asking? It’s when my brain reads something differently from how it’s written, adapting it before I've even read the whole thing. It’s not just a misread as it always makes sense. See above : )






But you have to do them

lying down



and exercise


at the

same time.



more please.

© Vroni Holzmann


* Note by the editor: please give feedback about this silly section of poetry.  Make this rich in detail. Speak it into a dictaphone and hand this into your local bakery. They will be delighted and give you a free roll.

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