POETRY

Stuff I think about

Poems are strange creatures. I don’t always appreciate them, especially when they flock together. Poetry books are therefore a tricky thing for me. However, if I come across just one of these shy word constructs I may end up pondering about it long after our meeting.

Silent Sigh

This is how you can slow down

your breathing

and relax

body and mind.

I have been given this

wonderful advice

by Donna Farhi.

Thank you.

Make sure you sit

comfortably.

No, not just for this exercise.

Always.

Breathe in through your nose

as normally.

For breathing out

you purse your lips

and release the air

like a silent sigh.

You make no sound

but you can hear

the vibration in the air.

If a candle was in front of you

it would not go out

says Donna.

It would maybe flicker.

You can do this ten times

and you will realise

that you have calmed down.

Your nervous system

is so grateful for this break

and your lungs are

filling and releasing

slowly.

Silently.

Sighing

and releasing.

Enjoy this little exercise.

You deserve a calm moment

in your busy life.

A minute of peace.

Little Wayside Flower

A gentle flower, frail and small
had thoughts on life itself and all.

It thought, oh just imagine if
I could just walk, what would I give.

It also thought, oh bloody hell
if I could swim, that would be swell.

And yes, the most amazing sight
would be if I had hands to write

so all the clever thoughts I made
would not just float away and fade.

This flower by the path was there
until a sheep that didn’t care

just ate it up, which sadly meant
its little soul away just went.

The world just never got to see
this little thing, it ceased to be.

But tiny as it was, and jaded
It knew it lived before it faded.

Poetry

A little story

builds inside

your head.

Now you have to

get it down

quick.

Scramble for pen and paper.

Catch those fluttering

thoughts

before they escape.

They don’t care

where you are.

You’ve just woken

in the dark?

You’re on a busy bus?

This epiphany

couldn’t care less.

It will only exist

for a few minutes.

If that.

A lovely new phrase

may only exist for seconds.

A new fleeting friend.

Take down the words now

or you’ll never see them again.

But If you manage to

put them to paper.

They’ll be there for you

forever.

Life

Life is a deadline

What haven’t you done yet?

Quick, do it now.

And then there sits a man

with all the time in the world.

He just sits there.

But you need to go and

shop and cook and clean

and work and go to work

and work from home.

And prepare for work

and then this job isn’t good enough.

Now you have a job interview

and then you are scared, did I get it?

Yes! You got the job.

Now you get more money.

And you have to work

and to clean and to shop.

You don’t cook anymore

you get a ready meal.

Yum!

And you rush past this man,

he just sits there.

Can he do that?

Just sit there?

It reminds you of a life

when rushing around

was not filling up

a hundred percent

of your time.

He sits there

and sometimes he looks grumpy

and other times he smiles.

Can you have good and bad days

when you just sit there?

Days you like and days you hate?

Shouldn’t that be about

what you have achieved

that day?

What does he achieve?

Is he a symbol?

A reminder for the rest of the world?

Why does he just sit there?

Does it mean that I could just sit there?

But what about my work?

I am so important! Yes, I am.

I lead a team.

I tell them what to do.

Without me, with me just

sitting on a bench,

what would my team do?

They can’t all just

sit on a bench.

There wouldn’t be enough benches.

Cooking

The tricky thing

about food

is not the cooking

but to make it

so it’s ready

at the same time.

I can prepare the most

amazing and delicious

five-course meal for you.

Not a problem at all.

Give me several days,

And I’ll have bits and bobs

ready to eat

every once in a while

for you to enjoy.

Yum.

What?

You want to eat it all

at the same time?!?

You will need to find

another house

with another cook

in it.

Three Tiny Daisies

Today

I came home

with three daisies.

I picked them

after sitting in the grass

reading a book.

When I came home

I wanted to put the wee flowers

in a little vase.

I searched but I couldn’t find

a single vase

that was miniscule enough

for these tiny flowers.

Even a schnapps glass

was too big.

My little flowers

drowned in it

as if in an ocean.

I quickly

fished them

back out.

Drowned little daisies

is something I would regret

for a long time.

They looked a little sad

but they will be okay

I hope.

Tomorrow first thing

I’ll go and buy a vase

small enough

for tiny flowers.

* Note by the editor: true story : )

What do you want?

Honestly.

Tell me.

Is it love?

Is it friendship?

Is it a house?

Is it a job?

Is it a pet?

Is it money?

Is it nice food?

Is it good entertainment?

Is it purpose?

Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

I know what you want.

I know what your

end dream is.

I know what would

rock your boat

from here to eternity.

You want companionship.

You want someone to walk with you.

Someone to walk a part of life with you.

And this is all you want.

Floating on the Floor

What is it

with all that

yoga wisdom?

Corpse pose?

Really?

That’s not nice.

So I’ve renamed it.

It now has

a lovely name.

Floating on

the floor.

Yes, that’s nice.

And so relaxing.

If you don’t

have time

for yoga

just do

one thing,

one little trick.

Lie down on the floor.

Close your eyes.

Imagine you are

floating.

Do it now.

You will feel

better than

you have felt all day.

Your worries will

just fade away.

Your consciousness

will submerge

somewhere

under the floorboards

and your subconscious will

shine through the cracks.

You will feel

like it all doesn’t matter.

Just for that moment

you can feel

so amazing

and reflect

on nothing

at all.

The Roaring Birds

My head, I think it is about

to split in two, the pain!

I double over, I feel sick,

the throbbing is insane!

A roaring noise is killing me

it’s coming from out there

the birds are shrieking mercilessly

it’s clear they do not care!

They’re not my only enemy,

now sunlight’s on attack!

Some rays can make it through to me

and shatter me to fuck.

The beer, the wine, the rum, the schnapps,

who gave me all that gin?

It’s all a hazy memory.

I pay now for my sin.

I swear I’ll never drink again

but please, oh birds, your cries

they penetrate my brain so fierce,

I whimper little sighs.

I hate those screaming birds so much

they mock me with their song.

Whoever called them feathery friends

was clearly very wrong.

They’re nasty little shrieky things

I can’t forgive them yet.

Add insult to my injury!

You teach me much regret!

Oh alcohol, you nasty beast,

hear what I have to say.

You will not pass my lips again!

Not ever for today!

* Note by the editor on 18/8/2020: Today is Bad Poetry Day 🙂

In honour of this beautiful occasion I put pen to paper and wrote a poem slagging off birds for singing. It had to be done and this was my best chance. I hate them birds when I'm hungover.

Amateur

I don’t understand

the word amateur.

Is it to do with money

that’s not changing hands

or skills

that aren’t honed?

Does it mean

if someone is amazing

at a particular thing,

but doesn’t get paid,

that he’s just a fucking amateur?

Or does it describe

the person who is

shit at a task,

paid or not?

Let’s say I’m a paramedic

and I get called to an emergency

and I get paid for that

after years of medical training.

So let’s say I inject the wrong drug

into the artery instead of the vein

and let’s say that person then

shuffles off this mortal coil.

Do they think,

just before they go,

fucking amateur!

Is this their last thought?

Or do they think,

she works as a paramedic and gets paid,

so she can’t be an amateur.

She’s clearly a professional

but obviously,

at least where it concerns me,

totally shit at her job!

Is this what they think???

Can someone explain this to me?

Please?!?

Who we meet

People come and go in your life.

They will show up

within the frame of your whole existence.

Sometimes expected.

Sometimes unexpected.

They give you joy

or comfort

or entertainment

or offer you their skills

or share their shelter

or food.

They give you love.

They give you hate.

Sometimes they give you love and hate

at once.

They disappear

sometimes expected

sometimes unexpected

without trace

or with a huge track

that’s really easy to follow

and you can find them again.

What do you find?

Some disappear for ever.

Sometimes this hurts you

sometimes it doesn’t.

Some people give you

the most valuable gift of them all.

Their time.

They care for you

they are there for you.

You may appreciate this

or not even notice it.

You may worry about

all these things

but you can’t change them.

People will do this

with or without your consent.

But here’s the thing.

You are one of these people, too.

Disappearing and appearing

in other people’s lives.

And you can’t get it right.

but you can’t get it wrong, either.

Life will have its way

of eating you up

and spitting you out.

The Bookshop

I went to a bookshop.

Cosy, lovely, affectionate bookshop.

I ran home with my book.

Once in my room I opened it.

The words swirled all around me

they took me on a journey.

Letters filled my head

and showed me a different world.

A travel from bookshop to fantasy.

And then dinner.

* Note by the editor: On 3/10/2020 I realised it was Bookshop Day.

For this occasion I wrote this little poem and why not.

Mr Bier

Mr Bier!

Will you fix my feet?

My name is Ilse

and my feet hold me up.

And they carry me around.

I can even dance on them a little.

Mr Bier!

You are so easy-going,

you don’t even mind

how you take your tea.

Lots of milk,

no milk,

you don’t mind.

You really don’t mind?

But we all mind!

You say:

I’ll have it the way

you have it, thanks.

That’s lovely.

Mr Bier!

Why do you know so much about life?

Why do you respect old ladies

with their sore feet?

Postscript:

Which tea, Mr. Bier?

Any tea, you say.

Any tea is fine.

That’s insane!

Mr Bier!

My feet!!!

* Note by the editor: My mum and her chiropodist get on very well. He is great at fixing feet and has the best name in the business.

Cleaning Lady

Have you ever

thought about

the cleaning lady?

Do you know

that the cleaning lady

is as important as you?

Do you think it is a

charitable act

to think about

the cleaning lady?

Those considered

the lowest jobs

are actually

so crucial.

No-one deserves

more respect

than those who deal

with your rubbish,

clean your house or work space,

and your stinky toilet.

You feel good about yourself

because someone

is keeping your life

nice and clean.

Fuck you

for never

thinking about them.

For taking them for granted

and thinking it is

in any way justified

that you don’t bend down

and wipe your toilet seat

and then kneel

to get behind the toilet

where a bit of fluff

has collected sneakily

in the corner.

Gardening

The sun is shining,

there’s a gentle breeze,

I’m gonna do some gardening.

I hate gardening!

But not today!

Why hate it?

It’s so much work.

I have to get all the stuff out.

Then I have to plug the lawnmower in.

For this I have to find three extensions

and lead them out of the kitchen window.

What a hassle!

And my secateurs are blunt!

And my rake is missing.

Wait! I never had a rake.

I just think, every single time,

that I need to get a rake.

But I never get one.

I don’t really

deal with my garden much.

But I like to look at it

from my kitchen window.

Not today!

Today it’s all

plug in and mow and

prune and make wonderful.

Hurray!

European Radio

I have introduced

German radio

to my kitchen.

Now my daughter feels

like she’s on

holiday.

I bought this little

internet radio

and set up

two Bavarian stations.

The same stations

that we listen to

when we’re in Germany

visiting Nana.

There’s no more visiting Nana

since a little virus

has made a big show

of terrorising people.

It really is a very small thing,

a tiny terrorist.

It kills people

and maims them.

What an arsehole.

Anyways, the radio.

It plays the songs

they consider hip

right now over there.

A lot of eighties stuff

and some Ed Sheeran and Adele.

They are so popular!

But I don’t really dig

their yodelling.

However, I do love

New German Wave.

They tell us the news

on the hour.

And after the news

the weather forecast.

It is generally more accurate

than the Scottish one.

But sadly for the wrong country.

I sometimes forget about this

and look out of the window puzzled.

Then I remember; thunderstorms in Bavaria

and sunshine in Scotland.

My little radio

brings Europe

so close.

My daughter feels

like it’s a holiday

when she hears their jingles.

Well-known and familiar sounds

from our travels

to see Nana.

Who is now so far away.

With a tiny virus

between us.

Praying

Why do people pray?

I think they pray

to make themselves small

in a good way.

They turn themselves

into children

looking for guidance.

And they practise

to be humble

every day.

Praying is a

meditation

on our place

in life.

The aim is

to make yourself

less important

and listen

to a higher

power.

We ask that power

to take over

and a huge

weight

is lifted from

our shoulders.

It is a shame

that I can’t pray.

It just never worked

for me.

I am not

humble enough.

And also,

I can’t believe,

even for five minutes,

that there is a

higher power

out there.

For me,

it’s just little me,

and wagon loads of people

in this world.

But no gods

or spirits

to ask for advice

and pray to.

I am a little

sad

about that.

But it’s fine.

Super Hero

The time has come.

You are the greatest!

You always knew this,

deep in your heart.

But now you can prove

once and for all

how important and clever

you really are.

Today I will make you

a super hero.

You can actually

save lives! Hurray!!!

An evil virus is threatening

the whole world!

But you will keep them all

safe!

You will make sure

not to spread it

and you will,

for once in your life,

be a real super hero!

Yes!!! You did it!

To save a life

you adhere to the rules

that you know will prevent

the spread of the enemy!

You ignore the authorities

and make sure the disease

doesn’t scatter itself around

on your watch!

Do what all the super heroes do

in this kind of situation.

Stay home.

Wash hands.

Wear masks (for real,

like a super hero!).

Now you have saved a granny

from certain death!!

You have proven that

the super powers

you knew you had

(but it was a secret)

could turn you into

Social-Distance Super Hero!

Yes, there may be some other heroes, too.

Okay, roughly several million,

but you have still saved that granny!

No-one can take that away from you.

And I will give you a medal

for your bravery.

Months of staying in

and wearing masks to shops

and not even meeting friends

is not for the fainthearted.

Your courage in defending

the vulnerable from

the spread of the disease

deserves the Medal

of Services to Society!

And a big thank you

from the whole world.

You did great!

I am so proud of you.

So proud.

The Highest Statue

A friend from Grenada

once said to me

as we were driving by

St Andrew Square in Edinburgh.

Did you know, she said,

what this man up there did,

up high above,

can you see him?

I said, well, he’s really far away,

he’s so high above,

how high is this statue?

Was he a god?

She continued, he was

a very bad man,

he fought for slavery

for a very long time.

I said, for slavery, not against?

She explained:

He single-handedly

inserted a clause

to delay the abolition

of slavery.

He managed to

suppress their fight

for another ten years!

I thought, wow, ten years,

that’s a long time

for slavery

to needlessly continue.

How sad, I thought.

This statue should

come down,

is what I thought

that day.

And every day since.

But now, at last,

the heads of statues

begin to roll.

The statues being

smashed and toppled.

The bad men

have their day

in the high court of

humanity

and are found guilty

of terrible assaults

on human rights.

But today I also

found out to my

sorrow

that the slaves

waiting for their freedom

were so many.

Over sixty thousand souls

were not freed

for another decade.

And the statue

this damn statue

sits so high,

so very high!

Forty two meters

is how high this man

got to sit

above all people.

Take him down

and see him for

who he really was.

He was a bad man

his crimes judged

late, too late.

But better now than never

to get rid of the stench

of good old-fashioned

racist horrors.

Shitty Britain

In Great Britain

which is now called

Shitty Britain

we have entered

the most dangerous phase.

Infections are rising

yet a murderous government

is easing restrictions.

My advice: stay home.

Go out only when you have to.

Don’t meet anyone,

wear a mask

and keep a distance.

The government is choosing

not to save lives.

But you and me

can really make a difference

by following the

guidance of other countries

who are ahead of us

in the timeline.

A no-brains government

just means you have to

look at the numbers and

use your own brain.

Good luck!

* Note by the editor: the British government has decided to ease pandemic restrictions without the introduction of mandatory masks whilst death rates are at 173 Covid victims daily and infection rates are rising, (June 20 2020)

Source: Covid 19 Info Live

A Criminal Government

What is up

with the

British press?

Our government

are a bunch of

murderers.

We all

know that

by now.

By not listening to the

scientific advice

provenly given to them

and not taking

the pandemic measures

to keep citizens safe

at the

appropriate

time

they are

responsible

for the death

of many thousands

of our valued

fellow citizens.

Why are they

still governing?

Why is the press

not challenging them?

And why are they able

to distract from

these murderous facts?

Why is this

not front page news

until they are

made to

go?

Prime Minister,

we can see the news

about other countries

and their successes

in containing the virus.

They usually wear masks.

They made clear rules

and supplied sufficient protective equipment

to their doctors and nurses.

You and your government

have killed your own people

on this island.

Take your

terrible politics

and go home.

The position

will go to

a responsible

and less murderous

soul

with the people’s interests

at heart

regardless of

their gain.

You work for

the money

not for

the people.

The people are now

dead or in despair.

Talking about slavery crimes?

A modern day genocide

is unfolding

right here!

But don’t think

no-one noticed

your crime.

I will judge you

now

and history

will judge you

forever.

* Note by the editor: this poem is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real persons, living

or dead, is purely coincidental. So don’t sue me for calling them murderers : (

Trans Woman

I am what is now termed as

a white hetero cis woman.

So I have not much

to do with you.

I don’t often meet you.

When I do I am pleased

to see the wonderful progress

which has been made

transforming an unhappy gender

into another gender

where the skin seems to fit

and the heart feels healed.

But I can see a river of hate

flow towards you

and I am sorry

so sorry.

I cannot with my little brain

come up with a single reason

as to why some fellow humans

would feel so passionate about

destroying your femininity

and your livelyhood.

One thing I do know

is that they are not radical feminists

as they so proudly claim.

In fact they abuse the term feminist

and drag it down

to a hate speech level.

I would like to apologise to you

on behalf of these haters.

Please don’t listen to them.

We shall fight their abuse together.

My apology won’t give you back

the dignity they try to take from you

but the dignity is already yours

and you elevate

far, far above

those who do not

understand you.

Respect.

Keep fighting.

And much love

from a feminist

who appreciates human rights

for all humans

and always.

Race is a Construct

I bring forward the case

in the high court of humanity.

The people are on trial

and the crime is racism.

It’s a criminal matter

as there seems certainly no

tiny bit of civil conduct

to be seen anywhere.

We begin.

Quiet in the audience!

First and only

proposition.

The human

likes to judge.

The judgement

of the human

comes first and foremost

from the eyes.

Ears and nose

have committed no crime

and shall be excused

at this point.

The mind of the human

will get an impression

and form an opinion

within a split second.

This matter will be settled

very easily and without doubt.

I see a colour of skin

and my mind is made up

as to what kind of person

I have in front of me.

Objection!

The truth is that

the colour of skin

actually tells me nothing,

and I repeat nothing,

about the person

I have just met.

Can you now please repeat

after me?

I know nothing,

and that means zero,

about the human

in front of me

depending on the

colour of their skin.

The person’s work uniform

can tell me more

about who they are

than their complexion.

But even this can be

so very deceiving

because in our minds

and in our eyes

when we see certain

work uniforms,

let’s say those

of the law enforcement,

we think they are here

to help us.

At least if the colour

of our skin is white.

If the colour

of our skin is black

they’re suddenly here

to kill us?

How can this be?

It’s all about judgement.

The eyes have been

naughtily judging

what the mind

couldn’t know.

You are now

dismissed from this court.

Your homework for tonight

is to repeat a thousand times,

‘The colour of skin

tells me nothing about a person;

my eyes won’t judge

and my mind is open’.

Then keep repeating

‘my mind is open’

until you

fall asleep.

You now rest with

a good and clear

conscience because

race is a construct.

There is one race,

and one race only

which is referred to as

the human race.

The judge is now tired

Why have to explain this?

It’s so simple and logical.

Why has it been

so misconstrued?

It has to do with power.

Where there’s fear

there is power.

But please don’t fall for

those powerful people

as they screw

with your mind.

Now the day is over

and another day will begin.

This day will be better

and full of

hope.

Toppling Statues

You are not sure if

statues of bad men

should be toppled?

Why do I say men?

What, no women?

There is one of your reasons!

The statues of bad men

should have come down

a long time ago.

They stand for,

I’ll just say this bad word,

the evil one, out loud.

Colonisation.

And you can’t,

however hard you try,

make this a good word.

It has done bad deeds

for many centuries.

It is the essence

of racism.

The history books

never taught

British kids

just how bad

these deeds were,

full of genocides.

Topple the statues?

Topple the Royals!

Topple the Edinburgh Tattoo!

A yearly event

where the military

glorify the military and

the Empire!

Off with their heads!

Is what the bloody Queen would have shouted.

But I don’t even want murder.

Just a few statues

and a few embedded aristocracies

gone.

I still stay home

Tens of thousands have died.

Thousands are ill.

Hundreds are still dying.

I don’t want to sunbathe.

I don’t want a beer in the park.

And I don’t want to meet a group of friends

from another household.

I want to rest assured in the knowledge

that my government is sensible

and takes the measures to ensure

a second wave will be coped with

and avoided if possible.

I want to see my mum

and hold my grandchild,

but in a safe way.

So not yet,

not yet.

I want to rest assured that vulnerable,

fragile citizens with pre-existing conditions

are taken care of

in the best possible way.

I would like my government to listen

to the concerns of its people.

And I don’t want to come out

until its safe.

I don’t think it’s safe

to come out yet.

So I still stay home.

Corona Crisis

These are the words

that have been

branded

into everyone’s

brain

during the weeks

of the pandemic.

Social Isolation.

Quarantine.

Stay at Home!

But this applies

only

to the lucky ones.

This crisis might

as well be called

“The Great Global Dying”.

So here is

what I don’t understand.

Why would anyone

be concerned about

how to spend this time?

Are we restricted?

We are alive, aren’t we?

A few months.

That’s all it is.

This illness is not a flu.

Stop thinking that.

It is a lethal virus.

It can shut down your organs,

one by one.

They can hook you up

to machines,

the kidneys,

the heart.

But there comes a limit.

There comes a time

when a mother, a father,

a husband, a wife,

just can’t be saved

any more.

Hang on, organs? Yes,

that’s if you

didn’t suffocate yet.

Your lungs drowning

in fluid.

You are coughing and coughing,

there is no light

at the end of this tunnel.

I wish every human

around

the globe

that they don’t

catch this

deadly virus.

So be content

to stay at home.

Stay there and

be happy.

You are

the lucky one.